The Peanut Galleries: My First Mother's Day

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Being a Mama is unlike anything I could have ever imagined. First of all, it's WAY harder than I thought but it's also the best feeling IN THE WORLD. Before becoming a Mom, I didn't understand the importance of Mother's Day. Sure, I knew it was a special day to show Moms how much you love and appreciate them- but now I Get it.

A little person was built by MY body. While I was throwing up every day for 3-1/2 months a human was growing and thriving inside of me. All those times I was DD or the evenings where 6:30pm was my bed time because I was just too tired to even sit on the couch, I was creating a life. I watched my body change into a body I did not recognize and dealt with hormonal emotions I didn't know existed. Mother's Day is a day earned and deserved. I earned this day and I have the stretch marks (and the boobs) to prove it! In fact, as far as I'm concerned, it should be Mother's Week not Day!

I have only been a Mom for 52 short days but in that time I have gained a new, humongous appreciation for all mothers and am even more grateful for my own. Looking back, I laugh at my B.P. (before Peanut) naivety. I had no idea what it truly takes to be a Mama.

B.P. I had envisioned my pregnancy to be so easy and thought because I knew I would love being a mom, obviously I would love being pregnant. Not true. I do love being a mom but I did not love being pregnant. I did have a very easy pregnancy (as far as pregnancies go) and know how lucky I am, but even an easy pregnancy is a hard one. Something I did NOT expect to love was the process of giving birth. Let's be real though, the contractions sucked. I had 12 hours of painful contractions before my water finally broke. But after that, the 90 minutes prior to Jack's arrival was amazing. I have never felt so powerful or so in tune with my body. The pain of pushing is much easier to bear and when it was all over my adrenalin was so high I felt like Super Woman!

B.P. I wanted a baby, we planned for our baby and the whole time I carried him I was happy he would be mine. I was excited to meet him and loved him the moment the pregnancy test read positive. But I have to admit, the love that I never felt before, the love that filled my heart so full it was overflowing, did not happen the second he was born. It took a couple of weeks for the initial shock to wear off and reality to set in before that love came to play. I look at him now and I could explode I love him so much and when I didn't think I could love him anymore, he'll do something new and the love grows even bigger.

B.P. I thought breast feeding was... well... kind of gross. I told Wes I would only go 6 months- 8 months tops! The first few weeks of breast feeding are hard. It's painful. It took some time and some learning from both me and from Jack before we got the hang of it. But now that we do, I enjoy it. No one else can provide for him what I am providing, and its a time we get to bond. I no longer feel like a milk cow but more like a tree of life. When he falls asleep, fresh off the boob, milk drunk and full it's because of me. Or when he stops eating to look at me and smile, I know that he feels happy and safe and my heart melts like butter on a hot muffin. The benefits of breast feeding are incredible and I am amazed that my body can make the perfect milk for him and change nutritional profiles as he grows. Again, I turn into Super Woman! Pre-mom Kate had no idea! I now hope to feed him for his first year.

B.P. I would get strangely uncomfortable around babies and kids. The thought of holding a tiny baby was terrifying and when I did hold one, I was pretty clunky. Now, if someone asked me to hold a baby I could do it with confidence and even really like it! What's that you say? He needs a diaper change? Psh! No problem. I can do that too!

B.P. I would get annoyed at the crying baby in the aisles of Target and took for granted the ease of shopping alone. I have recently been the victim of a screaming baby while shopping and now feel sympathy for the poor mom that has to endure it. I can say I know how hard it is lugging a baby with the car seat to the store, taking the very heavy stroller out of the trunk while praying for luck that he sleeps through the whole errand. If Mom is REALLY lucky she'll be able to make one more quick stop for lunch and be able to eat it in peace before going home. But I don't count on it.

B.P. I had lost the patients for sitting in a quiet room pondering my own thoughts. I always needed my computer in front of me and the TV on. One of my current favorite things to do is sit and rock with Jack in his nursery. I do have my phone with me so I'm not completely disconnected. But more times that not, we sit together and I enjoy the peace and stare at him. Admiring the miracle that I created, wondering what he will become and enjoy the time that he fits in my arms.

Today I understand the meaning and importance of Mother's Day and the sacrifices my own mom went through for me. I love you, Mom!

Happy Mother's Day